drained....
maybe  A Drain.... that's it I feel like a drain..... This pipe that has no other use except for crap to be continuously shoved down it..... you would think after almost 28 years of life I would be better able to handle all the emotions that plague me..... to bad for me.... here is the pity party..... I get so tired of always helping everyone else..... I bring it on myself. I don't intend to sound bitter or anything because I do enjoy helping them. I find myself most at ease or maybe its most myself when I am helping someone else. Getting lost in the details and putting this and that together. saying something that some how alleviates the pain.... these are the things that allow me to cling to the idea that make I have some point here.

For those of you starting to scream, I do believe in God and I believe He uses the things that happen in our lives to shape who we are. As for the purpose, to glorify God. That is basically it. And no I'm not going to kill myself so you thinking that can be quieted as well!!!  I'm just saying that it is so very hard to see the good at times. I really truly give my best effort to find the positive but I struggle these days..... to be more precise the past few days. Or weeks.... I don't even know....